


what im trying to say

by plantsareneat (theblindseeress)



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: M/M, asking your boss out, being horny with your boss, flirting with your boss, inviting your boss back to your house
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:48:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24541861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theblindseeress/pseuds/plantsareneat
Summary: “Doctor,” Santiago said, biting back the last of the desire to not take the risk. “I wanted to ask you something.”“Hmm,” He said, still finishing up whatever he was writing. Santiago couldn’t remotely tell what it was— his handwriting was nearly illegible, particularly because of the speed with which he was putting down letters. Were they letters? He really hoped he was listening, too, since this was suffering enough.“Do you want to get a drink with me tonight?”
Relationships: Apprentice/Julian Devorak
Kudos: 21





	what im trying to say

**Author's Note:**

> this was actually the first santi and julian thing i wrote, way back in late january. its also just an excerpt because i am NOT posting the much more agonizing latter half of this doc, just because i dont have the nerve to publicly post smut yet. sorry folks. takes place during the plague when santiago was julians apprentice
> 
> ###### ♪ what im trying to say - stars ♪

He didn’t want to give himself anymore of a chance to hype up for it. Santiago knew himself well enough to know that if given the second chance to think it through, he’d make some kind of excuse to back out of it, but continue to be bothered by it anyway in the end. The best course of action would be to go through with the impulse. And besides, life was boring if you never went out of your way to do potentially risky things. Like ask your boss out.  


It wasn’t really _asking him out_. That tended to imply more layers than Santiago was willing to currently go down, so he was ignoring that part. And to call it impulse was insulting, really, to the fact it had been on his mind for a while. It wasn’t that he was dying to ask the doctor out— and, well, if he was, he wasn’t going to get his hopes up chasing that pathway of thoughts either— he just thought he needed a break. Everyone needed a break from the plague sometime.  


Santiago had been lingering near his desk for too long not doing anything, twiddling some of his hair between his fingers when he drew himself back out of his thoughts. The doctor was still looking down to his notes, writing. Santiago shuffled the hair out from between his fingers, setting his arm down as he thanked whatever forces were out there that he hadn’t seen him… staring and playing with his hair. That would have been awful. In his other hand he was gripping some reports, the last for today before he was supposed to take the evening off. No more thinking about it.  


He walked forward, setting the reports down carefully on the desk, on a stack of other papers that looked firmly unread. Julian cast a glance, but didn’t look further. “Thank you,” He said, and resumed writing.

“Doctor,” Santiago said, biting back the last of the desire to not take the risk. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Hmm,” He said, still finishing up whatever he was writing. Santiago couldn’t remotely tell what it was— his handwriting was nearly illegible, particularly because of the speed with which he was putting down letters. Were they letters? He really hoped he was listening, too, since this was suffering enough.

“Do you want to get a drink with me tonight?”

He stopped, then, pen slowly curving off the last letter of the word as he turned to actually look at Santiago. His eyebrows were up in pleasant surprise, his mouth slightly open. Then, his expression turned sharply, eyebrows furrowing down and lips quirking into a wily smile. The look made Santiago’s ears burn a bit, maybe a bit from the surprise. It wasn’t often that Julian gave out more than a sardonic look at best during work hours as far as he could tell— the plague was, more often than not, serious business.

“A drink?” He said, now turning in his chair so that one long arm was draping over the back, his head tilted a bit to the side to gaze at him. An eyebrow arching up, questioning the seriousness of the statement.

Santiago brazenly delivered a grin back to him. “You just work so hard is all. I thought I could buy a round to show you some of my appreciation.”

Julian was still smiling a little, leaning a bit back against the chair, studying Santiago’s face for something. “There’s an awful lot of work to do,” He said, but there was something there in his tone that seemed to almost lead Santiago further.

“There’s a lot to do every day,” He insisted. “A break would be good.”

He seemed to consider his, looking back to his desk, observing all of the papers, notes, and books he had scattered across it. He looked back to him. “What time?”

What time? He definitely hadn’t thought that far ahead. “Whenever you’re available.”

That wicked smile flared back to life, and there was something fluttering around in his eyes that Santiago couldn’t quite place. The sparkle of interest, and something more. “Then let me get my coat.”

Santiago was sure all of his shock was on his face, as hard as he was trying to keep up the grinning exterior. Not only had he accepted, but he was dropping work _now_ for it? Julian set his pen aside, rising from his desk and having Sanitago have to quickly back up in surprise of it. He went off to find his coat, while he was left standing dumb and stunned at his desk.  


This was the exact and precise reason why he should not act on impulse— this was terrifying. Completely exciting, and he was quite frankly feeling a lot of different and warm emotions from the looks that he had given him, but utterly terrifying. He was still trying to process that he’d accepted by the time Julian returned, finishing the buttons on his coat as he did so. He brushed down his front, dusting down the creases as he looked over at Santiago.

“Shall we?” He said, and offered an arm out with that grin.

Like some kind of charming curse, Santiago could only smile back as he looped his arm with his, and the two of them left the clinic.  


Julian led the way to the bar— his choice, he’d decided, since Santiago didn’t have a preference. They hadn’t continued linking arms for very long, as the doctor seemed prone to dramatically flourishing his hands while he was talking. Santiago didn’t think it was so bad though, since the walk would have been awkward without Julian inserting his stories to keep their minds front wandering.  


There was plenty for the mind to wander about. The streets seemed colder than they had in months, the air still and quiet. People were drawing away from each other in great lengths, huddling inside buildings so as to ignore the dread that was creeping into every corner of Vesuvia. It seemed like all life was slowly being drawn into either the offices of the doctors or off to the Lazaret, with everyone else scattering like beetles after their rock was moved. It put a horrible darkness into the pit of Santiago’s stomach every day he walked back to his shop. The pleasant sound of Julian’s voice jarred him away from the usual bleakness, cracking jokes and casting him that smile. It made his heart flutter— there was no other way to describe it. It was captivating away from the despair that otherwise soaked the streets.  


He led him into a building, holding onto his arm lightly as they entered the crowded space. It was claustrophobically noisy from the sheer amount of people chatting, filling the room out in the chilled evening. It was much warmer at least, and Santiago was still staring out at the people of the room as Julian ordered from the bar. He came to attention as he heard him start fishing out money from his coat pocket. He managed to slip his out first, moving across Julian and setting his money down. He levelled a look at him, and Julian provided a surprised look back.

“I said I was paying,” Santiago said firmly.

Julian didn’t respond, and instead looked a little bit flushed. The bartender got them their drinks, and the two of them gathered them up and Julian led them over to a free table in a back corner. Santiago took the seat furthest, so he was facing all of the rest of the room. Julian sat across from him, already starting his drink as he was sitting down. Then he set the glass to the side, looking directly at Santiago. His eyes were practically glimmering.

“You’ve been quiet tonight.” He commented.

“Have I?” Santiago said, sitting back and running a finger along the top edge of his own glass. “Suppose I’m just enjoying hearing you talk.”

Julian smiled back at that, his eyebrows pressed slightly up. “You listen to me speak all day at work, don’t you?”

“About the plague.” He said, voice going somewhat quieter around the word, like he didn’t quite want to say it. “And you certainly don’t smile about it.”

“Hm,” Julian said thoughtfully. “That much is true.”

The two of them continued to talk aimlessly, drinking and chatting. Santiago found himself laughing almost too easily at everything he said, leaning in as they talked. Julian managed to grab the payment of their second round, shooting Santiago a playful smile and waggling his eyebrows in a way that made him crack up and let it slide without further comment. At some point the doctor had started leaning his leg against his under the table, a comfortable gesture Santiago didn’t mind at all.  


They talked around the topic of work, however often it would end up dripping into the conversation, as they both always seemed to have it on their mind. It was hard to get away from it, really, and 

Santiago had the small second realisation that Julian was his mentor and he’d asked him out. To a bar, but out. He wondered if he should be feeling more nervous about it, but he would see the sparkle in Julian’s eyes and the thought would run away again.  


Santiago was comfortably warm now, chest feeling light and his head doused in a pleasant heat. At some point, Julian had unbuttoned his coat and let his shirt be loosely open, revealing to Santiago just a small window of his body beneath all the layers. Julian was telling a story, his face gently flushed and eyes bright as he spoke. Whatever he was detailing, it seemed so dramatic— he wondered if the doctor was trying to impress him. Not that he needed to be more impressed, he thought as he stared blankly at his chest. Julian was absorbed enough in his story that he didn’t seem to notice.

“Ilya,” He looked up to his face and interrupted suddenly, the name springing forth without any forethought to it. Santiago wasn’t sure he’d ever called the doctor by his name, at least beyond ‘Dr. Devorak’. The look on Julian’s face suggested the same, filled with sudden surprise and blush.

“Er— yes?” He said, shaken out of his story, hands in the air faltering from the position they had been in while describing.

“Do you want to go back to my shop?”

“Your shop?” He said, looking confused.

Santiago smiled. “My _place_.”

“Oh— oh.” Julian’s eyes were wide as he processed the statement, looking all over him. He smiled a bit. “Well… if you’ll have me.”

“I’ll have you, alright.” Santiago said lowly, in disbelief of himself as the words came out. He guessed now was the perfect time to make an absolute fool of himself, if he had to. And according to his terrible mouth, he had to.

To his surprise, the doctor bit at his lip, giving him a somewhat more lidded expression as he leaned back in his chair. His eyes were still wandering over Santiago’s everything as he did so. A jolt of excitement overwhelmed the anxiety in Santiago, and he watched Julian have to drag his eyes away from him to focus on finishing his drink.  


They didn’t stay in the bar much longer, Julian’s eagerness becoming suddenly and painfully obvious. Julian had buttoned his coat back up to prepare for the chill outside. The streets were dark, the sun dipped long below the horizon, and all was quiet. It felt almost painful compared to the comfortable surge of life that populated the tavern.  


Julian’s arm wrapped around Santiago as they walked to the shop, his face set into something much more serious than it had been as he kept his eyes open to their surroundings. Even if the life of the city had pulled back, it didn’t mean it was safe. Santiago wasn’t sure Julian had exactly taken him to the most upstanding part of town— not that most parts of it currently were. But he felt safe pressed against him, glad to have someone to walk back with for once.  


Santiago felt a little shred of that nagging loneliness in the back of his mind, starting to wish Asra were there. He opted to ignore it for the time being, leaning his flushed face against the doctor just a bit. Julian’s fingers curled a bit tighter around his arm. The action made Asra practically run from his mind.  


They made it back to the shop, Santiago taking a moment to lower the wards on the door and find his keys. Julian stood back a bit, something almost wary in his eyes as he watched Santiago briefly work the magic, but he didn’t say anything. They walked inside, Santiago closing the door and relocking it behind him. Julian went over to the counter, which was barren and currently sported a very thin sheen of dust Santiago hoped wasn’t too obvious. He leaned back on it, looking over at him with that wide smile.

“It really is a shop,” Julian said. Santiago laughed a bit, tilting his head as he took off his own coat and hooked it up next to the door.

“What did you think it would be?”

Julian looked thoughtful. “I haven’t the slightest clue. What do you sell here?”

“Magic supplies.” He said, gesturing vaguely around the store. “Foreign herbs, charms, that kind of thing… we used to do some fortune telling.”

“Magic,” Julian said, a slightly uncomfortable look on his face. “You know, I’d almost forgotten you’re a… magician.”

“I try not to use much at work,” Santiago said, giving him a little smile. “I _am_ trying to be especially scientific, after all.”

“Mmh.” Julian responded simply, still looking around the shop a bit as he leaned back onto his elbows.

Santiago moved over to him, practically pressing right up to him as he set his own hands on the counter on either side of him. Julian looked at him so quickly Santiago was worried for a second that he’d hurt his neck. He waited there for a moment, watching Julian’s expression as it hovered between something like eagerness and longing. Still maintaining the closeness, he brought his hands up to start undoing the buttons on his coat.

“I don’t think you need this on,” He commented lightly.

Julian flashed him a wide grin. “I think I must agree.” He started bringing his hands up to undo the buttons himself, but Santiago looked at him and raised his eyebrows a bit.

“Hey,” He said. “I’ll do it. Keep still.”

Julian’s arms immediately went back to the counter, fast enough that they made a small bang and his eye twitched in a slight wince. Santiago couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at it as he continued to undo the buttons, but he resisted teasing him about it. It wasn’t long before Julian’s coat was off, and Santiago grabbed it and moved it to the hooks beside the door.  


He continued to watch him the whole time, leaning harder onto the counter as he did so. Santiago made his way back over to Julian, who quickly reached an arm out to pull him closer. He giggled a bit, looking up at him and looking thoughtfully at his flushed face.

“You’re too tall, Ilya.” He said, tilting his head a bit.

“What would you like me to do about it?” Julian said, eyes sparkling as he grinned.

“Come down here.” 

Santiago placed a hand onto his chest, sliding it softly under his shirt. Julian shivered, his legs sliding out a bit as he lowered his body, supporting his weight with his elbows and his back pressed against the counter. Santiago kept the hand on his chest, leaning forward and smoothing his other palm along Julian’s jaw. His hand continued to his hair, which he threaded his fingers into before he pressed a simple kiss to his lips.  


Julian groaned back, returning the kiss fervently and hungrily, surprising Santiago. Julian’s hands pulled at his hips, pulling him onto him. He sighed into him, which only encouraged Julian further. Santiago had to pull back first, his heart hammering in his chest as Julian’s face simply tried to follow after.

“Calm down,” He said with a small gasp, trying to hold his head back in place by pulling at his hair. Julian took a moment, taking a couple deep sighs as he looked at him with slight worry.

“I’m sorry,” He murmured quickly, face flushing. “Am I being too much?”

“No, but just… pace yourself.” Santiago stroked his hand along his chest again, drawing out a small sound of satisfaction from the doctor. “Unless you have other plans for tonight?”

Julian grinned at him. “Even if I did, I would gladly cancel them for you. Oh—” Santiago had pulled on his hair lightly, wasting no time to begin kissing along his neck. Julian chuckled, the low sound easily felt against Santiago’s hand and lips. “You don’t have to be so gentle.”

In response, Santiago immediately scraped his teeth along the skin, making Julian shiver. It seemed like he was going to say something else, so he started biting at his skin. He gasped, the hands on Santiago’s hips insisting him closer, gripping hard. Santiago fastened himself to a spot for a good moment, stopping when he felt Julian start to squirm a bit. The sound he made once he let go of the skin was beyond anything he thought he could have hoped for.

“Oh, Santiago,” He mumbled as he started kissing up to his jaw again.

“Just call me Santi,” He said against his skin, “If you’d like.”

Julian laughed a little. “Alright, Santi.”

He let out a little laugh himself, maybe a little out of nerves. Hearing him just say the nickname was making his heart beat faster than he’d like to admit. He pulled away from Julian, stepping back, much to the dismay of the other man. He looked confused, watching as Santiago reached for one of his hovering hands and started pulling him up to his feet.

“Let’s not break your back on a dusty counter all night.” He said, and Julian’s face relaxed into that mischievous grin.

“You can do whatever you like to me, anywhere you like.” He purred, biting again at his lip. Santiago snorted, pulling him over to the stairs leading up to the second floor.


End file.
